My 3 year old daughter is due to change childcare arrangements next week - moving from a daycare nursery to a pre-school nursery. She loves her current nursery and looks forward to going each day (she goes 3 days a week). None of her friends will be moving with her.

We are a week away from the change and she hasn't a clue it is about to change. We moved house 10 days ago so I have deliberately not mentioned it so that it is not a lot of change to deal with at once. She has coped with the change of house but has been quite confused by it and a bit unsettled.

Does anyone know of any good books about changing childcare arrangements that I can read with her to help her understand what is going on? I am tempted not to tell her she is leaving her current place, but fear that that could be more confusing in the long run when she starts asking whether she is going each day. We have been to a playgroup at the nursery school so the place will be familiar to her when she gets there. Any other thoughts on strategies for helping her deal would be welcome (although I accept that so much of it will depend on the child). I wondered about buying a doll or something that she can take with her on the first day, but I guess I would have to introduce that a few days before she goes...?

That reminds me the 1st day my daughter switch from daycare nursery to pre-school nursery.

We did visit the new nursery with her beforehand and she was happy playing on that day.

Then comes the real thing. I was there for over 2 hours, she didn't stop crying and wouldn't let me go (and I stupidly didn't want to leave while she was still crying). The nursery teacher told me I should leave and they could handle it. Less than 15 mins while my car just left the school compound, mobile phone rang and I was told to return and collect her.

She had her favorite special teddy with her the whole time, and there were plenty of fun new toys in the nursery.

Surprisingly, day 2, my husband's turn to take her to nursery, and she suddenly settled very well. All he did was sit her with a new friend (kind of properly introduce each other and start playing together), and told her we will come back and pick her up later. He stayed less than 30 mins.

I guess if they make a new friend and start playing together, they will be fine.

Good luck!

Hi there,

I would suggest that honesty is always the best policy! By gently explaining to her that she is leaving daycare and has a new exciting school to go to she will have the chance to say a little goodbye to her nursery grown ups and friends at daycare and be prepared for a new pre-school. Children are really resilient and accept change quite easily if they know what's going on, I think often parents find it more distressing than their children, I know I did! Not telling her might lead real confusion and upset and a definite shock on her first day at pre-school. It may take her time to settle into her new place but that's par for the course, she'll settle in and have fun eventually! I don't know of any specific books about changing nursery but I imagine the books out there about starting nursery will address all the little worries she might have about starting somewhere afresh and offer a little comfort to her.

Good luck! Let us know how she (& you!) get on!

x

Thanks very much for your replies. I think I do need to explain it to her - I've just been struggling to work out how to do it so that I know she is listening! I think we'll go to buy a cake tonight for her to take in tomorrow which gives me the perfect opportunity to explain that we are buying it for her last day and introduce the new school idea. That gives her opportunity to say goodbye as AlexBea says.

Cectai - thanks for your tips on handling day 1 - think I'll work from home so I'm nearby for any disasters!

I'll report back!

Hi Toddlermummy!

How was your little one's last day? Did the excitement of cake help? Hope her first day at her new nursery goes/went well too.

xx

Thanks so much for your helpful tips AlexBea and cectai...

Transition thus far is going well. The cake was an ideal way to bring up the subject and she accepted the fact that it would be her last day and she was going somewhere else well. I think she was pleased to know ahead so that she coukd ask questions about it and get used to the idea. Some sweet stuff such as asking who her new best friend would be...!

I bought a book about going to nursery school which we read over the weekend and each day this week. This morning (first day) we spent a while packing her bag and getting her new shoes and uniform trackauit out. She was really excited... Mainly for the climbing frame i told her about, but i guess the weather will be my undoing there...!

When i got there i introduced her qto another little girl who looked completwly bewildered (her first day too)! So far so good, i'll find out in a couple of hours how she got on!!

Thanks again to you and cectai for your ideas.